to sleep, or not to sleep, that IS the question.

Too many things on my mind
I just can’t stop the flow of thoughts
from rushing in and out.

I rehash the day, what if, why not
why.

Damn it JB, I know I think too much! but it is part of me.
Who I am is this person with the overactive mind.

When it is going in the right direction it is incredibly useful.
It is slowly turning back in that direction.

When it is flowing where it does not need to go it can be detrimental.
I have been there too much.

Friends and companions
keep me steered in the right direction
for that I thank you all so much.
Even those who have hurt me or done damage
help.

In the long run.

So here I sit,
slowly life improves.

Light begins to shine again.

Each light in my life has been different,
Each person I have, gotten to know, cared for, loved
Ignored, disliked, disdained,
has shown me their light.
And thus become a little part of me.

Some are a big part, their lights shine the brightest
some have almost no effect, about them I care very little.
but all have influenced who… and what… I am.

Who and what am I?

A man who thinks too much about life and its little situations
and influences.

I want to know why, who, how come!
tell me or I will try and figure it out anyway!

and probably just get it wrong

So I ask for help from those wiser than I.
At least wiser in a particular situation.

Or I find someone to spend time with who makes me feel good.
These are the good lights in my life. They sustain me, lift me,
keep me going.

and hurt the most when they are gone

but they are still my lights, I still value and treasure the bit
I have gotten from them.

So what does this have to do with sleep?

the lights in my life play in my mind, flashing behind my
eyelids.
keeping me turned on instead of tuned out

It seems I no longer have a dimmer switch
I go from wide awake to sleep, no in between, no tired

Going from a hundred miles an hour to unconscious in the blink
of an eye.

Only to wake up BEFORE the alarm!
W-T-F is up with that!

SO I try again for ‘to sleep”, knowing that it will be
“or not to sleep”
yet again tonight.

Fine, I will just sleep when I can
and dream of finding(?) the one who will sleep next to me
one day.


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