one tear

I cried tonight
One tear
I don’t even know why for sure.
I lay in bed after an all to short rest

And there it was

Is it the slow and steady realization of the possibility of lost love
That I have feared in my soul may never be, no matter what my heart feels
The desire for a relationship that seems so far away
always just out of reach, so close, but not close enough

In the long run it does not matter
Tears fall

thoughts flash across the pages of my mind
so fast I can not keep up

a never ending litany of images, words, thoughts, fears, wants, desires, goals, objects obtainable, objects unobtainable, more things than I can list here they fly so fast never allowing easy rest always keeping me awake until the crash of exhaustion hits simply because in my mind I am lost and have no direction in my life right now only the never ending stream of thoughts to keep me running far into the night with little escape because comfort is so far away and the emptiness and isolation overwhelms me at times leaving a shell of who and what I know I should and can be.

No rest, only exhaustion
opening the door for the pain
is the pain caused by internal strife
or does it cause it… the chicken or the egg

Help me my friends, I am incomplete







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