9:15 am overlook behind the fish throwing guys.

I have a day off to spend on my own while my wonderful bride is at the SMX conference. She works long hours for her company and then helps me. She allows me to be who I am and supports me. I do so love her.

Before the Market is awake.

First thing in the morning I let her off and I find parking as close and as inexpensive as I can find then make the. 25 mile trek to the market. First order of business, caffeine. Then I wander a bit and watch Pike Street come to life. I now sit at the public overlook thumb-typing on my phone, listening to the street artist do a reasonable rendition of the Beatles. Occasionally the fish guys yell “MONKEYFISH” or “10 POUND SALMON”. The chains begin rattling as vendor stalls open and the wares come out.

‘don’t you know you’re a shooting star” is echoing through the sitting area as the last of my vanilla latte goes down. Original Starbucks, good price, good latte.

I have a reoccurring memory from when I was young. My aunt Karen bought some Chinese candy for me. I couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6 at the time so we are talking 1971ish. Truthfully the sugar coated rice paper stuff was not all that good at the time so it does not draw me to want more. But the memory of Karen and I standing at the booth is vivid and warm. For some reason I have always thought it was one of a few memories I have from a California trip we made. For 40 years I have been wrong. Early 70′s renovations have changed things, but walking through the shops on the east side of the street I got a chill up my spine. Right here, probably off of this very table is where that almost inedible candy was purchased and somehow enjoyed on the trip back to Montana. One of my fondest and never before shared memories was found and relived on a misty day wandering by myself. Thank you Karen for the memory, and ultimately for being the best ‘big sister’ I could have ever dreamed of. (I tried to get a photo but it was always crowded, when I went back later the table was packed into the store and gone, perhaps in the next couple of days I will get a photo.)

11:30 Sitting in the mist on the north side of the market.

LEAVE ME ALONE!

A crow is being amazingly pesky to a seagull by dive bombing. No apparent reason but to be pesky.

People who know me understand my philosophy on life.

That being said I have a little red Traveling Buddha that travels with me. Normally he resides on my monitor keeping an eye on things. For years he has either been there or in my pack if I travel. Over the years I have lost track of where he came from, he just is.

Where my Buddha came from

Today I walked into a shop in the Down Under and remembered looking in the cases as a young boy and seeing these huge skull rings. They are still there, hopefully not the same ones I wondered at as a boy.Working my way through the store I eventually found myself looking at the middle island of racks and shelves. Right there is a a display of carved red wooden Buddhas.It came back to me, In 1996 I was in town for a software training session and David and his then girlfriend now wife Tera took me to the market on a cold February Sunday.

my protector

I now distinctly remember looking through all of them seeing subtle differences. I chose mine because he sat on a side sloped base making him just a bit more original than the others. Right now as I sit in the car letting my phone battery charge he is  sitting on the dash once again vigilantly watching over my travels. Yet another connection to Seattle and the market.

Off to find a journal book so I don’t kill the battery in the phone again, and find lunch.

1:50 Zaina restaurant

I wandered all over the place looking for a blank journal to put these scratchings in. Finally I found one at a map store on 1st Ave. I found a little ace called Zaina to rest my tired dogs in and refuel. This afternoon is going to be spent on the piers. I’m not hitting the aquarium but the other shops should be fun. Maybe some more memories will be sparked from the recesses of my memory.

about 4:00 listening to a guitar and washboard duet.

Back again where my day started, only now I have a cream cheese Cinnamon roll instead of a latte.

Rain

True to its reputation Seattle is raining a nice steady flow, nothing serious just steady. The shops on the pier are almost exactly as I remember them, Memories but no epiphanies.  Much has changed over the 40 odd years I can remember this place,but a lot is still the same. As always in a locale such as this the people are as interesting to watch as as the location itself. Relative isolation in Montana leads to forgetting the diversity we do have. I have heard several languages and seen a wide variety of faces mingling together quite well. It isn’t until you gat on the street and have to deal with the driver that conflict happens. In my walking up and down the hill and north and south well past the normal Marketplace area I realize the difference between local and the tourist. sometimes quite easily. I probably look somewhere in-between, not gawking, but still looking around at the sites most local people see as common everyday environment. There is no animosity for the tourist, but acceptance and some amusement.

I have been sitting here scribbling this while listening to an absolute idiot. He is rudely berating his wife and daughter and feeding them inaccurate information on the market. Evidently it  started in the 20′s and only sold seafood in the beginning. I feel like turning him around so he can read the placard he is sitting 3 feet from that has the real history on it.

Life is too short to listen to this, I’m moving on.

4:40 I just sat down to write more and Dianna called to say she will be done, I will wander to the car and get her so that will be all for the day.

It’s been a good one.

‘The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public
debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and
controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest
Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on
public assistance.’

Cicero – 55 BC

Evidently nothing.

(don’t know for sure Cicero said this…. but its great!)

Amazing how simple things can change your outlook. Simply look around yourself and discover what makes you smile.

These things need to be attended to.

It is almost 1:00 a.m. so I am off to attend to someone who makes me smile and make sure she keeps warm while sleeping.

In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a goldwatch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!
I rest my case.
__________EDIT_________

Now is your chance to give it a try. Good luck!

The light comes and goes
Darkness falls, darkness will lift
Sunshine warms my soul

I cried tonight
One tear
I don’t even know why for sure.
I lay in bed after an all to short rest

And there it was

Is it the slow and steady realization of the possibility of lost love
That I have feared in my soul may never be, no matter what my heart feels
or
The desire for a relationship that seems so far away
always just out of reach, so close, but not close enough

In the long run it does not matter
Tears fall

thoughts flash across the pages of my mind
so fast I can not keep up

a never ending litany of images, words, thoughts, fears, wants, desires, goals, objects obtainable, objects unobtainable, more things than I can list here they fly so fast never allowing easy rest always keeping me awake until the crash of exhaustion hits simply because in my mind I am lost and have no direction in my life right now only the never ending stream of thoughts to keep me running far into the night with little escape because comfort is so far away and the emptiness and isolation overwhelms me at times leaving a shell of who and what I know I should and can be.

No rest, only exhaustion
opening the door for the pain
is the pain caused by internal strife
or does it cause it… the chicken or the egg

Help me my friends, I am incomplete

Not what you think
——————–
The crush of LIFE
Weighs heavy on me now
so much stress
so much pressure

The relief I have is needed
the time is all good
and appreciated
and loved

The lady I know
touched me in surprising ways
let the touch go on.

love, pain, lust, longing
a relationship evolves
beyond what I thought

to continue growth
is a constant need for all
all must not be still

to touch and feel now
will keep me dreaming of you
and thus only yours

We all do what we can
to get to where we need to go

Everything flows as it must
The question we all need to ask is…
are we going to go with that flow
or paddle against it.

Life is much easier when we simply flow
But is that really the best path?

My experience is, usually no.
The easy way is just that, too easy.

We need to work on things in life in order to grow and become who we need to be. If we remain stagnant then how do we learn anything, experience new opportunities and find what else there is in life. Meeting challenges is part of what keeps me going. But some challenges are just too much. We need to decide which streams to paddle against. One thing I need to do is evaluate just this. One of my objectives is to let those I am involved with know exactly where I am headed, as it pertains to them. I have been doing so with vigor and true feeling with some, and have just begun with some others. If you are one of those I have opened to then you know what I am talking about. If I talk to you someday and say I want to have a conversation then you know what is coming It will never be something bad, but just a clearing of the cobwebs in my head. The release of these stresses is something that I am working on to alleviate my headaches.

Wish me luck, and pray for me.

Symptoms of inner peace

1. Tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than from fear based on past experiences.
2. An unmistaken ability to enjoy each moment.
3. Loss of interest in judging other people.
4. Loss of interest in judging self.
5. Loss in interest in interpreting the action of others.
6. Loss of interest in conflict.
7. Loss of ability to worry (a very serious symptom).
8. Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
9. Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.
10. Frequent attacks of smiling through the eyes from the heart.
11. Increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.
12. Increased susceptibility to love extended by others as well as uncontrollable urge to extend it.

—————————————–

This was given to me by a very wise friend. I don’t know where it originated, but I feel the roots of this are based upon a strong Zen foundation.

Good advice, that is very timely.